It would be IX/XI
Thứ Tư, 1 tháng 9, 2021
Scooby doobie doobies
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr.Rustom about enlarging her breasts. Dr Rustom advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
She did this faithfully for several months!
To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. 'Rustom 's?'
'Yes I am.. How did you know?'
He winked and replied, "Hickory dickory dock...."
A man is visiting friends in Alabama and decides he’s needs a drink so he goes to a local bar
He walks in and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see a flamboyant yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks “ you ain’t from around here are you?”
“No sir,” He says, “I’m from Minnesota”
“ What the hell do you do in Minnesota” the bartender asks.
“Im a taxidermist!” The man replies.
“What the hell is that!?” The bartender asks.
The guy says nervously “ I umm, mount dead animals”
The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar “ it’s ok fellas, he’s one of us!”
Thứ Ba, 31 tháng 8, 2021
My Gf says I can get anal on my cake day if this post reaches front page
Please upvote because I want to rearrange the whole house furnitures to make them perfectly symmetric from every angle
Sperm count
An 65 year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! - "You asked your neighbour?!!!!
The old man replied - "Yep, none of us could open the jar"
So I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I've got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you'd like."
"Sure.", I replied. Then she gave me a handful of nuts and went back to sit with her friends.
"What a nice lady", I thought, while happily munching on the nuts.
A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again, offering some nuts. I gladly accepted and she went back to her seat.
After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.
I asked her, "Why don't you eat them yourself?"
"Because we've got no teeth", she replied.
"Then why do you buy them?", I asked.
"Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them."
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