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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Sáu, 10 tháng 9, 2021

We're in Trouble

We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.

76 million are retired.

That leaves 251 million to do the work.

There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.

Which leaves 203 million to do the work

There are 74 million children younger than 6

Which leaves 129 million to do the work

There are 95.2 million children and young adults in school.

Which leaves 33.8 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are roughly 4 million people on vacation

Which leaves 29.8 million to do the work

Of this there are 15 million employed by the federal government, not including the military.

Leaving 14.8 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea and the Middle East.

Which leaves 12 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.2 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,012,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,011,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

I just found out Canada isn’t real

Turns out it was all just mapleleaf

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the lot for me.

Love Dad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dad,

For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES!

Love Bubba,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 4 the next morning, F. B. I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love Bubba.

Thứ Năm, 9 tháng 9, 2021

2 men go fishing, One has a stutter

The man with a stutter says “shh ssshhh sshh”. The other man says “what is it, did you catch a fish”? The stuttering man continues to make ssshhh noises, the other man says “spit it out”. The stuttering man says “ssshhh ship!!” Before the 2nd man can react a ship crashes into their boat.

Months later they both have recovered and go on another fishing trip. The stuttering man again starts saying “ssshhh”. The 2nd man starts panicking thinking he’s going to get hurt again. The 2nd man jumps out of the boat as fast as he can, the stuttering man says “sshhh sshhh Shark!!”

The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her I said no.

I can't deal with high maintenance women

My girlfriend left me because of what she described as my "weird pasta fetish"

Now I'm feeling cannalonli

Today, I shocked the hell out of the postman by opening the door completely naked.

I’m not sure what surprised him most: my nudity, or the fact that I know where he lives.