Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn't related?

ass skin for a friend

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Do you smoke?

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do.

Lady: How many packs a day?

Guy: 3 packs.

Lady: How much per pack?

Guy: $10.00 per pack.

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Guy: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?

Guy: Correct.

Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?

Guy: Correct.

Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?

Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?

Lady: No.

Guy: Then where's your fucking Ferrari?

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What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^{btw I waited 1 whole year to tell this joke}

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If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date,

chances are... you have small boobs.

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I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

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I'm emotionally constipated.

I haven't given a shit in days.

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What does a 9-volt battery and an asshole have in common?

You know it's wrong, but eventually you put your tongue on it.

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