Why you...

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.” The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely...

Read More

I have a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you think I'm sexy'

I then wait at green lights until I feel better about myself....

Read More

What’s the difference between dildos and tofu?

I can put a dildo in my mouth without gagging....

Read More

My friend once asked, “if killing your father is patricide and killing your mother is matricide what is it called when you kill your spouse?”

I responded, “pesticide”...

Read More

A young man and his date

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker, and I charge 20 dollars for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a Uber driver, and the fare back to town is 25 bucks.”...

Read More

Teach a man a joke, and he will laugh for a day.

Teach a redditor a joke, and they will repost it for a lifetime. It's cake and y'all know the rules!...

Read More

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where’s mom and dad?"

She replied, "They're up in bed," so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma the same question. She replied with the same answer and the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" Once again his grandmother replied, "They're still up in bed," and the little boy started to laugh again. The grandmother asked, "What's wrong? Every time...

Read More