You leave the plunger in the toilet.
Thứ Hai, 13 tháng 9, 2021
A man badly wanted to lick the princess' boobs.
He decided to ask his friend Johnny, who works in the palace. He promised 2,000 gold coins to Johnny, he agreed instantly with the deal.
A few days later, Johnny goes and sprinkles itching powder on the princess' bra while she was taking a bath. The plan worked successfully, when the prince heard that the princess is having huge discomfort on her chest, he summoned all the palace workers and asked if they know the remedy. Johnny raised his hand and answered
"My Prince, I know of the solution of the problem, it's a virus, originated in Spain which travels through many countries and infects people rapidly, there is only one solution to this, Prince... but I'm not sure you would like it.
The prince instantly replies "Go on, what is the solution?"
"Well, I know a person, he has the cure in his tongue, when his tongue touches the affected body part it cures the person, if you allow me I will call him immediately to the palace at once."
"Yes, please do it."
Johnny's friend comes and does his thing, enjoying and savouring every moment of it, and also secretly applying the lotion which cures the itching. The Prince and Princess thank him, and he leaves.
At night, Johnny asked his friend for his pay to which his friend refused without any second thoughts and said
"I made a fool out of you, now go, I won't give you your money. What are you going to do? Tell the prince that you sprinkled the itching powder on the princess?"
Johnny was very furious at this, he thought for a while and then he found out what to do. He sprinkled the itching powder on the prince's underwear.
There's no "I" in "team,"
But there are three "u's" in "shut the fuck up."
Credit to my uncle, who said this after getting tired of hearing me tell these jokes.
Two statues were standing in the park, one, a nude man and one, a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years.
One day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."
He looks at her. She looks at him. They go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel looks at his watch. "Um, you have fifteen minutes left… would you care to do it again?"
He asks her, "Shall we?"
She eagerly replies, "Oh! Yes, let's! But we should change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head!"
A man scores a hot date
Not wanting to disappoint his date in the bedroom, he goes to the doctor to get his penis enlarged. The doctor says, "we happen to have a new experimental procedure that uses muscle cells from an elephant trunk that should do the trick." To which the man accepts.
Later on, the man and his date are having dinner. The man is in love with her, but is experiencing an increasingly uncomfortable pressure in his trousers. In an attempt to relieve the pain, he slowly undoes his fly.
Immediately, his penis lunges out onto the table, grabs a bread roll and vanishes back under the table.
His date, unsurprisingly shocked, slowly smiles and says, "could you do that again?"
The man, his eyes watering slightly, replies "probably, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my arse."
"Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
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