I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 9, 2021
Let's go to Hooters!
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other’s stories.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs." "Perfect, you're on"
At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where do you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Again? Why?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games." "Yeah, boy! Let's do it!"
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So, where do you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters.
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking." "OK."
At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where do you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy." "Good choice"
At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts." "Great choice."
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Because we've never been there before."
"OK, let's give it a try!"
Thứ Hai, 13 tháng 9, 2021
The largest condom factory in the States burned down.
President Biden was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
Biden: "Oh no! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship condoms in from Mexico."
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about Canada?"
Biden: "Alright, I'll call Justin and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches wide. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
Three days later, a delighted President Biden ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches wide, exactly as requested... All colored with red maple leaves and in small writing saying: ‘Made In Canada / Size: Small.’
A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig.
The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?”
The judge says, “That is correct.”
“And does it mean that I can’t call a pig Ms. Harding?”
“No,” says the judge, “you are free to call a pig Ms. Harding. There is no crime in that.”
The man looks Ms. Harding in the eye and says, “Good afternoon, Ms. Harding.”
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