Jesus and Moses walking on the beach.

So Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach and Moses says "you know Jesus it's been a long time since I parted the sea let me see if I can still do it". So he throws his staff down throws his arms up and nothing happens. Jesus says to him "why don't you try again it's been a long time". So Moses throws his staff down, throws his arms up and the sea parts, it was beautiful. So Jesus says to Moses "it's been a long time since I've walked on the water let me see if I still have it in me". Jesus walks out onto the water and sinks, he comes back...

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In another 3029 years, there’s a chance that things will either be really good or really bad.

It’s 5050...

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What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill?

A lambslide....

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What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?

The ones in the casinos are serious....

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When the pope was visiting America

He told the driver of his limo that he had the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man and would not ever dream of questioning the Pope’s authority. So the Pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80km/h, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. The chief asked: “Who is in the limo, the mayor?” The policeman told him: “No, someone more important than the mayor”. Then...

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Favorite Norm MacDonald joke I heard live

PREFACE: Several years ago Norm was doing standup in Vegas. it was at the South Point casino, a little ways off the strip. At the same time there was a rodeo going on as well. Forget the name of the rodeo but it was advertised as being LGBT friendly. So thus it was known as the "gay rodeo" JOKE (think of Norm's voice): "So uh, I decided to go the rodeo going on next door. Last night was the bull riding competition. You know, those things are huge and mean. I watched as one of those cowboys tried to ride the bull, but got thrown off after a couple...

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My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am......

​ ​ ​ ​ an Ice Cube...

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