Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now…
Thứ Bảy, 18 tháng 9, 2021
Bubba died in a fire
Bubba died in a fire last night. His body was burned so badly that he couldn't be identified by most of his family.
That is, until his best friends Jim and Cletus were called. Jim and Cletus knew Bubba all his life, and they were certain they could identify Bubba for the coroner.
When they saw the body, Cletus said "I don't know if that's Bubba, but there's one way we can know for sure. Flip him over and let's take a look at his asshole."
Puzzled, the coroner agrees and helps them flip him over.
Jim proceeds to spread Bubba's crispy cheeks, takes a long look and says "nope, this ain't Bubba"
The coroner asks "how can you know that just from looking at his asshole?"
Cletus responds "well, you see, Bubba had two assholes"
"Two assholes?" Asks the coroner.
"Yeah, every time we was with Bubba, people always used to say 'here comes Bubba and them two assholes"
Thứ Sáu, 17 tháng 9, 2021
Two big girls walk into a bar
They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
Tiger woods
Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of Ireland. Paddy who knows nothing about golf, says “Top o the morning to ya sir!” Tiger nods and bends to pick up the fuel nozzle. As he does so, 2 tees fall out of his shirt pocket. “What are those?” Asks Paddy. “They’re called tees, they’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving.” “Fuck me” says Paddy “BMW think of everything!”
Two guys walk past a dog that is licking his balls
One man says, "I wish I could do that". The other guy says, "Maybe you should try petting him first".
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