Please upvote because I want this house to be spotless...
Chủ Nhật, 19 tháng 9, 2021
Nsfw An aussie man calls emergency services while camping with his wife
Operator: "Emergency services how may we help you mate"
Man: "Please help! me sheila got bitten in her minge by a mozzie and its all swollen and now we can't have sex!"
Operator: "Oh bummer mate..."
Man: "Oh thanks mate never thought of that!" *Hangs up...
Woke up, pissed, and went back to the bedroom to find my wife unresponsive in the bed. I couldn't find a pulse...
Looking at her lifeless there, I decided to have one last go. Five minutes in she opened her eyes and shouted BOO! Honestly, some people are fucking sick in the head....
A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"
"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."
Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"
"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."
Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I named Cakeday?"
His mother sighs. "Your father believes it is the best way to earn karma."...
Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start.
The mechanical engineer says: “It’s a broken starter”
The electrical engineer says: “Dead battery”
The chemical engineer says: “Impurities in the gasoline”
The IT engineer says: “Hey guys, I have an idea, how about we all get out of the car and get back in”...
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