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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 8, 2015

A Chinese man goes to the bank

A Chinese man that just moved to the United States goes to a bank to exchange his yuan for US dollars. He gives the teller 100 yuan and the teller exchanges it for $100. He thanks the teller and leaves.

A week later, the Chinese man returns to the bank with another 100 yuan to exchange. This time the teller only gives him $90. The man asks why he got less than last week and the teller replies "Oh, market changes and, you know, fluctuations."

Clearly offended, the man gets red in the face and yells "Oh yeah?! Well FLUCK YOU AMERICANS TOO!"

Apple Did Not Stop Tidal From Streaming Drake's Set At Katrina Benefit

Sources familiar with the situation tell BuzzFeed News that Apple did not threaten Tidal with a $20 million suit over Drake’s performance at a Hurricane Katrina benefit, despite a claim to the contrary from Jay Z’s streaming service.

Tidal

If New Orleans became the frontline of the battle for streaming music supremacy this week, it had very little to do with Apple. The Cupertino company did not threaten to sue Jay Z's Tidal over Drake's appearance at Lil Wayne's Lil WeezyAna Fest, a charity concert to benefit kids affected by Hurricane Katrina. And it played no apparent role in Drake's exclusion from Tidal's livestream of the event — despite Tidal's claims that it did.

Drake's decision not to participate in Tidal's live stream of the Lil Weezyana Festival was precisely that — Drake's decision. And sources familiar with the situation tell BuzzFeed News that Apple did not threaten Tidal with any legal action whatsoever — let alone a one with $20 million in liabilities attached to it. "No one even knew this was going on until the Post piece hit," one of the sources said, adding that it's not even within Apple's power to file such a suit.

And while it's difficult not to look askance at such claims given Apple's recent move into the streaming music space with Apple Music and its $19 million exclusivity deal with Drake, the singer's management says it's the truth. And it's not at all happy with Tidal or what it says is a mischaracterization of last night's events.

"The decision to not have Drake participate in the Tidal steam has nothing to do with Apple or Drake's deal," Drake's manager Future the Prince told BuzzFeed News. "Point blank, 100%. I made a business decision. Apple doesn't have the power to stop us from being part of a live stream. The only people that have the power to do that are Cash Money and Universal, and they're our partners."

So why is Tidal very publicly saying otherwise? Not only did the company take to Twitter to lambaste Apple for interfering with its stream, but it also blacked out what would have been Drake's portion of the stream with a slide lambasting Apple as a Big Brother "interfering with artistry."

"I don't understand," Future said. "If you're going to say something about the situation publicly, you should tell the truth. They saw the opportunity to take a situation and spin it in their favor as a publicity stunt."

As for the rationale for withholding Drake's performance from the live stream of a benefit concert, Future insisted it was related to Drake's image — not his business deals. "We wanted to make sure the stream represented us in the right way, and we didn't have much insight into what they were doing," he said. "Aesthetics and quality are important to us and we didn't have any control over that or time to investigate it. We were just there to participate in the benefit."

Apple declined comment. Tidal has not yet responded to a request for one.

Thumbnail by Getty


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Thứ Bảy, 29 tháng 8, 2015

27 Brilliant Hacks Every Cat Owner Needs To Know

Having a cat just got so much easier!

Thinkstock

Wrap thin rope around the legs of end tables to create scratching posts.

Wrap thin rope around the legs of end tables to create scratching posts.

Find the full tutorial here!

princesse-guerriere.com

And stack those end tables to create shelves for your cat to lounge on, and for pet supply storage.

And stack those end tables to create shelves for your cat to lounge on, and for pet supply storage.

(Same tutorial, here!)

princesse-guerrere.com

Adding some dry green tea leaves to the cat litter box will help reduce unwanted odors.

Adding some dry green tea leaves to the cat litter box will help reduce unwanted odors.

Lutique / Getty Images


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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a hooker.

Lately I've found my job, building kitchen work surfaces, to be counter productive.

No text found

A kid in the park told me smoking was bad for me

So I popped his ballon with my cigarette and informed him so was talking to strangers.

A Doctor posts an ad in the paper...

So... this Doctor posts an ad saying "I can cure any disease for $500. If I can't cure you, you get $1000." So this fellow who is looking to make a quick buck figures, what the hell. Looking on the internet for a disease with no cure, he finds -Tastoritis- the inability to taste any food. "Doc," he says, walking into the office. "I have tastoritis... no cure. I can't taste anything." The doctor says "Hmmm. I've heard of this and I've heard of some new research." Nervous, the fellow says "Yeah?" "Yeah. Nurse, get bottle 22 down from the shelf." Pouring a big spoonful, the nurse says, "Open up." The man opens his mouth and takes a huge mouthful. "PTTHHth" spitting it everywhere. "That's Gasoline!" "That'll be $500." Going home, $500 the lighter, our pissed off patient decides to give it another shot. -Cuncussive Amnesa- After a hit on the head, no memory what so ever. "Doc, I have cuncussive amnesia. No memory, what so ever." "Hmmm," says the doctor. "I've heard of this. And I've also heard of some new research." Uh oh. Thinks our patient, but says "Yeah?" "Yeah. Nurse, get down bottle number 22." "Hell No!" says the patient, "That's Gasoline!" "That will be $500" Now down $1000, our patient is determined. -Blindness- Can't see shit. (Hey, there's no cure for blindness. I'll get him) "Doc, I'm blind. I can't see anything." "Hmmm." says the Doctor. "I've heard of this. I've also heard of some new research." Our patient, nervous, though determined, I'll drink a mouthful of gasoline, if it means getting back my $1000. "Nurse, get bottle 22 down from the shelf." Pouring a big spoonful, the nurse says "Open up!" Drinking down the gasoline, our patient winces, near gagging, but keeps up the act. "Anything?" asks the Doctor. "Nope. Still blind." The Doctor turns to the nurse. "Well, we better write this man a check for $1000." The nurse writes the man the check and upon receiving it, he turns toward the door with a smile on his face. "Wait a minute," he says... "This check says $10!" "That will be $500"