He laughs
Thứ Tư, 30 tháng 12, 2015
My mother always said, "Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your maid."
When I went to college the dorm had a maid who told us, "Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your mother."
Tarzan and Jane
One day, Jane decides to teach Tarzan about sex. As she is giving him the basics, Tarzan goes: "Oh, Tarzan know sex. Tarzan sometimes do with hole in tree" Horrified, Jane goes: "My word, Tarzan, no, that's so terribly wrong. Here," she lays down on her back and opens her legs "You have to put it in here." Tarzan takes off his loincloth, walks up to Jane and - BAM - kicks her as hard as he can, right in the snatch. Jane proceeds to roll around on the ground in agony. Finally, once she is able to draw breath, she goes "Dear God, what the hell did you do that for?" With a huge grin, he replies "Tarzan not stupid. Always check for bees first"
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died." He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine." Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?" She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
The 40 Most Important Corgis Of 2015
Legitimately the only year-end list you need to see.
The Corgi That Used A Watermelon As A Pillow
The Corgi That Used A Watermelon As A Pillow made this list for being the most resourceful corgi of 2015. What an excellent life hack.
The Corgi Next To 3 Shibas
I have no idea what is going on here, or even if this picture is real, but it's pretty incredible regardless.
The Kissing Corgis
Normally PDA is gross... but these are corgis so it's pretty damn cute.
Trinket
Trinket was literally all bow-ties and smiles after a small injury this year. She is an inspiration.
Thứ Ba, 29 tháng 12, 2015
A travelling salesman knocks on a door...
And a ten year old boy answers the door wearing high heels, and a brown bra, smoking a cigar, and drinking scotch.
The salesman says, "woah. Hey, little fella'. Are you parents home?"
The boy answers, "what the fuck do you think?"
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