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Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 8, 2016

Why are the developers of NoMansSky called Hellogames?

Because you never get a goodbuy from them

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic?

About half way..

A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant...

...so they go to see a priest for advice. The priest tells them they came at the right time, since his superior just sent him to Rome for 10 years, and he's leaving tomorrow.

'As soon as I'll get there, I'll immediatly light a candle for you,' he promises.

Time passes and the priest returns to the little town after 10 years. The first thing he does is visit the couple's home. He can hear a crazy loud noise when he knocks on the door. The wife opens the door; three little children on her arms, a couple of them hiding under her skirt, and others behind her playing around. The priest counts as many as ten of them!

'Well this is quite a pleasant surprise,' exclaims the priest. 'It seems like God listened to my prayer. But where is your dear husband?'

'My husband travelled to Rome,' says the wife with a tired look on her face.

'To Rome? Why on earth would he go to Rome?'

'To blow out that bloody candle you lit!'

30 people walk into a bar

This is the worst game of limbo I've ever seen

My girlfriend asked me if I ever take a Piss while in the Shower....

My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pissed in the Shower. I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally." She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!" "Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're taking a shit."

Thứ Ba, 16 tháng 8, 2016

Does God use our bathroom

A child asks, "Mommy, does God use our bathroom?"

The mother replies, "No darling. Why do you ask?"

The child says, "Because every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, 'Oh God, are you still in there?'"