Google Glass 2.0 Is A Startling Second Act

Google Glass 2.0 Is A Startling Second Act
The trendy-creepy glasses flopped. Then the tech giant realized that the future of wearables was in factories and warehouses.

July 19, 2017 at 12:19AM
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(LONG) A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida ..

..and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says, "One". The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says, "$101,237.65 ".

The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"

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My girlfriend accused me of cheating.

I told her that she was starting to sound like my wife.

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A man went to visit the doctor because his arm was hurting.

“Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.

“Hello, Doctor,” says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!”

“Aha!” says the doctor. ”I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”

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The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers.

At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.

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Damn girl, are you a Rubik's cube?

Because fuck you, stupid piece of shit.

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Nervous about watching new Game of Thrones with my parents, due to all the sex.

Hopefully if I turn the volume up loud I won't hear them.

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