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Thứ Bảy, 17 tháng 11, 2018

So, little Johnny has a report due for government class...

He asks his dad to explain government. His dad thinks for a minute, and explains it like this:

I am Congress, your mom is the judicial system, your sister is the unemployed, you are the group too young to vote, and the maid is the working class.

So that night, little Johnny is trying to figure out what his dad meant, and got up to get a drink. On his way to the kitchen, he watched his sister sneak out of the house with her boyfriend. He grabbed his drink, and on the way back to his room, he saw his dad sneak down to the maid's room.

The next morning he tells his dad, so I think I have it figured out. His dad asks, so how do you think it works?

Little Johnny says: "The unemployed are out fucking around while Congress is screwing the working class, the judicial system is asleep, and the people too young to vote are watching it all happen..."

I Found the Best Burger Place in America. And Then I Killed It


I Found the Best Burger Place in America. And Then I Killed It
Steve Stanich called my burger award a curse, "the worst thing that's ever happened to us."

November 16, 2018 at 10:12PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2DpIT5Z

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.

"What is your name, son?

A student visits the principal's office. The principal asks: "What is your name, son?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." Then the principal asks: "Oh, do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."

I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight...

to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance.

My wife says if this post gets over 1000 upvotes, I can get anal.

Please upvote because I want this house to be spotless.

My girlfriend changed a lot after she became vegan.

Its like I've never seen herbivore.