Mom: Stares at Dad
Dad: Clenches fist
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: Sweats Profusely
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
Thứ Năm, 17 tháng 1, 2019
A guy and his friend are sitting on a sofa having a few beers. Guy #1 - “What would you do if we found out an asteroid was going to hit the earth in one hour?”
Guy #2 - “I would fuck the first thing that moved. What would you do?”
Guy #1 - “I’d sit very fucking still for the next hour!”
How A Stroke Turned A 63-Year-Old Into A Rap Legend
How A Stroke Turned A 63-Year-Old Into A Rap Legend
After a swarm of small strokes, Dr. Sherman Hershfield's personality seemed to change. He suddenly became obsessed with reading and writing poetry. Soon, his friends noticed another unusual side effect: He couldn't stop speaking in rhyme.
January 16, 2019 at 09:00PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2CnSPei
A shy guy goes into a pub and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.
After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”.
She responds by yelling, at the top of her voice, “NO! I will not sleep with you!”.
Everyone at the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is extremely embarrassed and slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. She smiles and says quietly “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a psychology student and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations”.
To this, the man responds at the top of his voice “WHAT DO YOU MEAN £800?”
Cop: You were going 68 in a 55
Me: Dang, 68? Can you make that number a little cooler so I can hear the judge saying it out loud?
Cop: Sure whatever
[Later in traffic court]
Judge: How were you going 420 in a 55?
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