Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

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Thứ Tư, 15 tháng 1, 2020

It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 45-minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

What's the worst thing a woman can hear after giving Willie Nelson a blowjob?

"I'm not Willie Nelson."

Brave Knight Edward is going to crusade

He doesn't know if he will ever come back or not. So, he puts on an iron chastity belt on his wife, gives the key to his best friend Micheal and says,

"If I don't come back in 3 years, set her free". Michael agrees and brave Knight Edward sets out on his big black horse. He gallops toward the hills, knowing he may be leaving his beloved city forever. When on top of the hills, he looks back, just to have one last look at his beloved city. To his surprise he sees a big cloud of dust coming towards him.

He waits and soon can make out the shapes of a horseman coming toward him as fast as the poor animal can manage.

When the worseman is closer, he can finally see it is none other than his best friend Micheal.

Michael stops his horse, still panting "you gave me the wrong keys".

A bra, car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar..

The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That’s how I roll.

[NSFW] A black Jewish kid is running back home from school

He asks his father "Dad, am I more black or Jewish?" "Why do you ask?" says the father "Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and was wondering if I should talk him down to $40 or just take it."

Someone threw a beer at President Trump during last nights National Championship Game.

It was a draft, so he easily dodged it.