An old farmer and his wife lay in bed watching a television show about relationships...

The relationship expert on television says, "You need to be honest with your partner, if you want the relationship to last."

The farmer gets out of bed, leaves the room, and comes back a few minutes later with a chicken under his arm.

He stands in the doorway and announces "I have to be honest with you, this is the pig I fuck when you have a headache."

His wife yells, "That's a chicken, you idiot!"

The old farmer shouts back, "No one's talking to you, bitch!"