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Chủ Nhật, 31 tháng 5, 2015

God Will Save Me

A big storm approaches. The weatherman urges everyone to get out of town. The priest says, "I won't worry, God will save me".

The morning of the storm, the police go through the neighborhood with a sound truck telling everyone to evacuate. The priest says "I won't worry, God will save me".

The storm drains back up and there is an inch of water standing in the street. A fire truck comes by to pick up the priest. He tells them "Don't worry, God will save me."

The water rises another foot. A National Guard truck comes by to rescue the priest. He tells them "Don't worry, God will save me."

The water rises some more. The priest is forced up to his roof. A boat comes by to rescue the priest. He tells them "Don't worry, God will save me."

The water rises higher. The priest is forced up to the very top of his roof. A helicopter comes to rescue the priest. He shouts up at them "Don't worry, God will save me."

The water rises above his house, and the priest drowns.

When he gets up to heaven he says to God "I've been your faithful servant ever since I was born! Why didn't you save me?"

God replies "First I sent you a fire truck, then the national guard, then a boat, and then a helicopter. What more do you want from me!!??"

Edit: Formatting

The world is so politically correct these days.

You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"

I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork...

...it spoons.

She did not find it humorous

What does Happy Meal and a lonely girl have in common?

They both come with a toy in the box.

What do you call 5 black guys having sex with each other?

A threesome

Your wife and your lawyer are drowning. You have a choice to make:

Lunch or the movies?

In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters

Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"

Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."

Waiter: "I'm sorry?"

Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."