I think they misunderstood me when I told them "I wanna watch."
Chủ Nhật, 31 tháng 5, 2015
A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday...
"I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing of drugs."
I said, "Okay, but don't go into that field over there....."
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I'm allowed to go wherever I wish... On any land! No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?! Do you understand?!"
I nodded politely, apologized and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard screaming, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life being chased by my big, old, mean bull... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he sure enough would get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
I threw down my tools, ran for the fence, and yelled at the top of my lungs...
"Your badge! Show him your fucking BADGE!!"
Three old ladies sat at a park bench when a man in an overcoat appeared in front of them, opened his overcoat, and flashed his naked body.
The first old lady was overcome by the experience and had a stroke. The second old lady was also overcome by the experience and had a stroke. The third old lady didn't have a stroke at all -- her arms were too short.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and go seek
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. It's Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one metre by one metre square on the ground in front of Einstein and stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims, "Newton! I found you! You're it!" Newton smiles and says, "you didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square metre. You found Pascal!"
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