On the last day of his vacation, the priest landed a monster; he struggled for long minutes wrestling the fish into the boat, and when he did, his guide exclaimed, “Wow, that’s the biggest son-of-a-bitch I’ve ever seen come out of this lake!”
“Son, it’s true it’s a fine fish, but you needn’t swear.”
“Oh, sorry, padre, but that’s what it’s called – it’s called a ‘son-of-a-bitch fish.’”
“Oh,” replied the priest, “Is it good to eat?”
“Oh, father, it may be the most delicious fish on the planet!”
So the priest finished his vacation with a fine catch, packed it in ice, and drove back to the Church. When he arrived, Sister Mary came running to the car, exclaiming, “Father, father, welcome back! I hope you enjoyed your vacation, and I have fantastic news! The Pope is going to visit our Church tomorrow!”
“That’s wonderful,” said the priest, “we can serve this son-of-a-bitch that I caught.”
Blushing, Sister Mary said, “Oh, Father, such language!”
“No, no,” explained the priest, “That’s just what the fish is called – it’s a ‘son-of-a-bitch fish,’ and it’s reputed to be the most delicious fish there is.”
“Oh,” said Sister Mary; “in that case, I’ll clean the fish for Brother Isaac to cook,” and she took the fish into the kitchen.
Brother Isaac came into the kitchen and asked Mary what she was doing.
“I’m cleaning this son-of-a-bitch that the Father caught; we’re going to serve it for the Pope’s dinner tomorrow.”
“Oh Mary, if you don’t want to clean the fish, I’ll clean it.”
Laughing, Mary explained, “No, I’m not upset – that’s just the name of the fish – it’s a ‘son-of-a-bitch fish.’”
“Oh,” said Brother Isaac, “I see. Is it any good?”
And Mary said, “The son-of-a-bitch is supposed to be the most delicious fish in the world.”
“Hmmmm,” said Brother Isaac. “I know, I’ll prepare some special side dishes to go with the son-of-a-bitch.”
The evening of the Pope’s visit arrived, and the fish was served for dinner, and everyone enjoyed it.
“My goodness,” said the Pope, “that was the most delicious fish I’ve ever tasted!”
Grinning a huge grin, the Priest boasted, “I caught the son-of-a-bitch!”
Smiling with eyes aglow, Sister Mary said, “I cleaned the son-of-a-bitch!”
And beaming with pride, Brother Isaac said, “And I cooked the son-of-a-bitch!”
Smiling shyly, the Pope looked at each of them in turn and said, “You fuckers are all right!”
