What do you call a fight between a mexican and a pedophile?

Alien VS Predator

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I hope Jeb Bush wins the primaries

Then takes Dick Cheney as his running mate. There campaign slogan would be "same dick, new bush."

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A man is in the hospital for stomach problems when he suddenly gets diarrhea and shits in bed.

Panicking, the man folds the sheet with the poo and throws it out the window.

The sheet lands on a man walking by. The man wrestles a little with the sheet and the poop comes flowing out.

Another man walks by and asks him what he's doing.

"Damn,you'll never believe me," he replies. "But I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!!

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French rifle for sale.

Never fired. Dropped twice.

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Viagra now comes in a nasal spray.

It's for dick heads.

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Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

He needed space.

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A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks ...

'Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?' The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and says, 'Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?' The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers ... 'I don't weally fink my pyfon gives a phuk!!..

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