I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them...
Thứ Hai, 28 tháng 3, 2016
A joke I heard at mass
A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"
The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"
An old man on his front porch see two boys walk down the street past his house
Each boy is carrying a roll of duct tape.
"What are you boys doing with that duct tape?" said the man
"Gunna catch us some ducks Mister" said one the kids
"I don't think it works that way but good luck."
The kids walk by a couple of hours later with a duck under each of their arms.
Next week the old man sees the same kids walking down the street with chicken wire.
"What are you doing with that chicken wire" asks the old man
"Catch us some chickens" replied the kids
The old man shakes his head and wishes them luck. But a couple hours later the boys are each holding a chicken!
The following week the old man sees the two boys again, carrying a bundle of pussy willow. So he said "wait for me boys, just need to grab my hat"
What is Easter?
As told to me by a priest when I was little:
Three bad Catholics die and go to heaven. Saint Peter says to them "To get into heaven, you must pass a quiz first. What is Easter?"
The first Catholic steps up and says, "Easter is the holiday when a big fat man comes down your chimney and hands out presents."
Saint Peter says, "No. That's not right. That's Christmas."
The second Catholic says, "Of course, that's Christmas. Everyone knows Easter is the day when children put on masks and go door to door saying 'trick or treat' and getting candy."
Saint Peter says, "No. You're thinking of Halloween. How have you all not heard of Easter? Do you know what Easter is?" he says, motioning to the third.
The final Catholic says, "I apologize for my friends. I know what Easter is. Easter is when our lord and savior Jesus Christ was crucified under Pontius Pilate for the forgiveness of our sins. He suffered, died, and was buried. They put his body in a tomb and rolled a big stone in front of it. On the third day, the disciples rolled the rock away, and they saw Jesus Christ had risen from the dead in fulfillment of the scriptures..."
"That's an excellent answer!" St. Peter exclaimed.
"...and as he rose from the dead, Christ saw his shadow and we got six more weeks of winter."
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