It ends quicker for fat people.
Thứ Tư, 27 tháng 4, 2016
Thứ Ba, 26 tháng 4, 2016
To whoever stole my thesaurus...
To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.
A young couple finish their first date...
...and are heading back to their hotel room. As the man is about to open the door, the woman halts him and says, "Look, I can tell how you make love just by the way you open that door."
She continued, "For instance, my last date thrust the key into the lock and barged the door open. That showed to me that he was rough when making love, and I don't like that."
She paused for a second to recollect her thoughts and then continued, "and the date before spent ten minutes poking around trying to find the lock, and that showed to me that he had no experience, and I don't like that either."
She then fixed her eyes onto the man and asked, "So how do you open the door?"
"Well," the man replied, "first I lick the lock!"
My great Grandpa Randy was a brick layer...
He said, "I was a brick layer for 20 years and no one called me 'Randy the brick layer.'
Then I farmed for 25 year and no one called me 'Randy the farmer.'
But you fuck just one goat.
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