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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Hai, 23 tháng 5, 2016

Two Hillbillies

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it."

A Bad Day

A Bad Day

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you, you jack-ass, show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"

If you have any good ones please share :)

A science graduate asks the question why?

A science graduate asks the question why?

An engineering graduate asks the question how?

An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a nobel prize?

They said he was outstanding in his field

Dumbest kid in the world...

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

The obsessive amateur code-breakers hoping to crack the Zodiac killer’s cipher


The obsessive amateur code-breakers hoping to crack the Zodiac killer’s cipher
The Zodiac Killer left behind more than just death, terror, and a horrific legacy. In his wake lies a series of coded messages that may point to his identity.

May 23, 2016 at 03:31AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1RhvnwZ

A beloved UPS man was moving away in his local neighborhood and he was doing his last deliveries...

the first home he went to a red head answered and gave him a card and a hug saying how much he will be missed and the best of luck! He gave her the package then and moved onto the next house. A brunette opened the door and kissed him on the cheek and a card saying he will be missed and the best of luck! The UPS man then gave her the package and went to his last house he had to deliver. A blonde opened the door, grabbed him by the collar and took him to her bed where they had wild sex all night. The next morning, the UPS man was sitting at her table and noticed a card with $5 in it. He asked the blonde what the card and money was for...

She replied, "Oh, that is for you, I told my boyfriend that the UPS guy was moving and all the neighbors are giving him something. So my boyfriend told me, 'Fuck him! Give him a card and $5!'."