FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
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so he calls a plumber. The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways. The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people." The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But the company makes an announcement that all of their plumbers must get a 7th grade education. So they all go to night school. On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks John, "What is the formula for the area of a circle?" John walks up to the board and is about to write the formula when he realizes he has forgotten it. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared. He thinks the minus doesn't belong so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation. After staring at the board for a minute he looks out at the other plumbers and sees that they are all whispering, "Switch the limits on the integral!"
Gabriel guides him past the pearly gates and through a hallway with clocks lining the walls and ceiling, each ticking at a different pace.
"What's with all these clocks?" the man asks? Gabriel responds saying, "These clocks tell us how often someone lies. Take a look at this."
With that the man is shown a seemingly broken clock labeled "Dalai Lama". He is then shown his own clock which ticks at a slow yet steady pace.
The man thinks for a moment and then asks, "Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?" to which Gabriel causally replies, "You'll see it when we get to the main dining hall. We use it as the ceiling fan."
...goes downstairs and is shocked to see his two polish housekeepers are nowhere to be seen.
He yells for his wife "Honey, where the hell have the maids gone?"
"Oh, Steve Jobs knocked on the door this morning" Replied his wife. "He offered both the house keepers twice what you're paying them to come and work for him, they couldn't pass the offer up!"
Furious, Bill slams hims fists down on the table "Fucking Jobs!" he screams "Coming over here and taking our immigrants!"
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."