Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 22 tháng 7, 2016

Why does a man name his penis?

Because he doesn't want a total stranger making 90% of his decisions....

What's the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews?

Santa goes down the chimney....

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes...

...and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."...

What's a Freudian slip?

Two old men are playing a round of golf. One says, "in my old age, I find myself making more Freudian slips." The other says "what's a Freudian slip"? The first man says, "is when you intend to say one thing, but actually say what you were really thinking. Like the other day, I had a new secretary, as I was leaving the office, I meant to say 'see you next time' but actually said 'knee you sex time'. It was really just embarrassing." The other man says, "oh, yeah, I have Freudian slips all the time, then. Just this morning my wife made eggs and...

An old married couple were driving through Arizona

They were traveling from Texas to California when an Arizona highway patrolman pulled them over. "Afternoon sir, license and registration please." "WHAT'D HE SAY?!", screams the old lady. "HE NEEDS MY LICENSE!", replies the old man. The patrolman chuckles and says, "I'll be right back." "WHAT'D HE SAY?!" "HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" After a moment, the patrolman returns- "I see you're from Texas. I used to date this obnoxious nag out there till she went batshit crazy!" "WHAT'D HE SAY?!", screams the old lady. "HE SAID HE KNOWS YA!!", replies the grinning...

The guy at the bar

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.  Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."  "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to...

Thứ Năm, 21 tháng 7, 2016

People say to me Jesus was not Jewish

I say ofcourse he was Jewish 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents Working in his father's business His mother thought he was God's gift He's Jewish. Give it up by Robin Willams Happy Birthday Robin!...