A young man walks into a bar

And sees a horse. Young man: 'Why the long face?' Horse: 'Women. The ones I like anyways. Young man: 'Why? What's the problem? What kind of women do you like?' Horse: 'I like my women like I like my coffee.' Young Man: 'Ground up and in the freezer?' Horse: 'N..What? No! Sweet and strong you freak.' Two scientists walk in... Horse: 'Hey guys, first one's on me. What'll it be?' Scientist 2: 'We'll both have water thanks.' Scientist 1 to Young Man: 'What's eating you?' Young Man: 'I just found out my girlfriend's dad is a pharmacist.' A dentist...

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Donald Trump Jacked Up His Campaign’s Trump Tower Rent Once Somebody Else Was Paying It

Donald Trump Jacked Up His Campaign’s Trump Tower Rent Once Somebody Else Was Paying It After bragging for a year about how cheaply he was running his campaign, Donald Trump is spending more freely now that other people are contributing ― particularly when the beneficiary is himself. August 23, 2016 at 07:22PM via Digg http://ift.tt/2bvVy...

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I broke my finger today...

but on the other hand..I'm completely fine!...

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ISIS takes Congress hostage

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire." "We are going from car to car, collecting donations." "How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks. The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."...

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I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.

Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future....

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I burned my Hawaiian pizza today...

I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting...

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A son and his Dad have an intense argument and the son storms off, furious.

Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile". His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"...

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