Thứ Tư, 24 tháng 8, 2016

A young man walks into a bar

And sees a horse.

Young man: 'Why the long face?'

Horse: 'Women. The ones I like anyways.

Young man: 'Why? What's the problem? What kind of women do you like?'

Horse: 'I like my women like I like my coffee.'

Young Man: 'Ground up and in the freezer?'

Horse: 'N..What? No! Sweet and strong you freak.'

Two scientists walk in...

Horse: 'Hey guys, first one's on me. What'll it be?'

Scientist 2: 'We'll both have water thanks.'

Scientist 1 to Young Man: 'What's eating you?'

Young Man: 'I just found out my girlfriend's dad is a pharmacist.'

A dentist walks in.

Dentist: 'Drinks all round. I'm just back from a great safari holiday.'

Horse: 'I hope you were just shooting with a camera.'

Dentist: 'Don't be Cecilly. Sorry, so silly. Bagged myself some real trophies. Check my facebook."

Just then a chicken pops its head round the door.

Chicken: 'Sorry. Has anyone seen a tomato family walking around here? Sorry to bother you. Sorry.'

Scientist 1: 'Sure. They were across the street about ten minutes ago heading north. If you hurry you'll ketchup.'

Chicken: 'Sorry. Thanks. Sorry again. I have to go now. Sorry.'

Scientist 2: 'What's his deal?'

Horse: 'He's Canadian. Good guy.'

A screeching sound comes from outside followed by the unmistakable sound of a bus hitting a chicken.

*In heaven

St Peter: 'Look chicken, it's been a busy century, I've been whizzing round trying to find priests and lawyers for some young couple, some idiot just got in, the devil nabbed our only engineer, and to top it off some nuns have just been washing various body parts in the holy bowl. Do you mind waiting?'

Chicken: 'Yeah, no. Super sorry about all that. I'll just head down these stairs and go to hell so you can have a better morning. Sorry again. B-bye.'

St.Peter : 'Thanks man.'

The chicken heads for the stairs...

St.Peter: 'Next. Name and manner of death.'

Next in line: 'Harambe. I dunno what happened man. I was trying hug this kid who tried to jump me and the next thing I know I'm stood behind that chicken and that guy who died in the refridgerator.'

St. Peter: 'Ok, let me just check your lie clock.....'

Edit: Wow! 5k upvotes and a gold! Inbox battered. Thanks.

A time traveller walks into a bar.

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