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Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 12, 2016

I was tickling my brothers feet last night...

...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first.

One time Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 47 people

Then the grenade exploded

TIL: Ropes can pass through themselves

Ohh wait they can knot.

So a child is going through his mom's purse & takes out her driver's license...

His mom catches him reading it and just mildly scolds him.
The kid says "but I learned so much about you from it".
She says "well, ok, what did you learn about me"
"Well, says the kid... "I know your age now"
"and what is that?" asks his mother
"You're old" says the kid
"and i learned your height"
"Which is?' says the mother
"Your really tall" he says
"Well, yes, i am tall for a woman"
"and, i learned your weight" he says
"and what is that?" asks the mother
"a lot for a woman your height" the kids says
the mother sighs and says "well, that's not nice, but i can't argue that"
"and" the kid says "i know why dad divorced you"
"Huh? what?" says the mother, "how on earth did you get that from a drivers license"
"Because, you got an 'F' in sex"

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention.

Laughed more than I thought.

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama...

Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.