Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?
Thứ Năm, 12 tháng 1, 2017
A man was selling his TV
A man was selling his TV on his front porch with a sign that says "$1". A bloke walks by and asks
'You're selling your TV for a dollar?'
'yup'
'It looks brand new!'
'It is.'
'What's wrong with it?'
'Oh the volume is turned all the way up and you can't change that'
'So whatever I watch the volume is on Max, and you're only selling it for a dollar?'
'yup'
'Wow, can't turn that down.'
The phone rings at the local police station. “Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Craig. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.” The next day, policemen descend on the neighbor’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Craig, did the police come?” “Yep.” “Did they chop your firewood?” “Sure did, Eric. Thanks!” “Great, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good reason."
Mother: "Because you're 47 years old, and you're the principal."
I can't figure women out...
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.
I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.
I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.
I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts! Women, I can't figure them out.
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