Then they call me ugly and poor
Thứ Ba, 24 tháng 1, 2017
An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport...
An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, “Do you have any felony convictions?”
The Englishman replies, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”
I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating
I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.
"Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"
Little April is Sleeping in Class
Little April is sleeping in class. The teacher calls on her and asks "Who created the universe?"
Little Jonny, who has a small pin, wakes her up by poking her in the arm
She wakes up and yells "God Almighty!" and the teacher agrees. April goes back to sleep
A little while later the teacher calls on her again
"Who is our lord and savior?" Again Jonny wakes her up
"Jesus Christ!" The teacher nods and April goes back to sleep
Later still, the teacher calls on her again
"April, what did Eve say to Adam after she had her 23rd child?"
Jonny comes to her rescue, once again
April wakes up and says "If you stick that fucking thing in me one more time, I'm gonna snap it in half and shove it up your ass!"
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