Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed.
Chủ Nhật, 19 tháng 2, 2017
Two blind pilots enter a plane
They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.
The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.
In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die"
Michael Flynn, General Chaos
Michael Flynn, General Chaos
What the removal of Flynn as the national-security adviser reveals about Donald Trump’s White House.
February 18, 2017 at 10:36PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2ltHgey
Three sons go to their father on his deathbed...
A father of three - a man of considerable wealth and creator of a veritable empire - lies on his deathbed in the final hours of his life. His sons - all vying to inherit his wealth - stand by his side, arguing over who should take the kingdom.
"I am the smartest," says one.
"But I am the bravest," replies another.
The youngest - last in line to inherit - says nothing.
"Sons, sons! Stop this bickering. The inheritor or my vast wealth, of all my lands and riches, will be decided by a task."
"Father," cries the first son, "Whatever it is, I shall prove my worth! I will show you that your kingdom will be in safe hands with me! Name the task!"
The father breaths a laboured breath and then regards his first son.
"My firstborn, you shall journey to the furthest, storm-tossed seas of the great West. There, you will search the unfathomable depths for the long-lost wreck of the HMS Gordimer. Deep within her bowels, there lies a treasure chest. Inside that chest is the incredibly rare Gem of Kings. Bring that, and you shall have my blessing."
The son beams, prepares his horse and travelling train, and leaves on his quest.
"What is my task, father?" asks the second son. "Tell me! For your kingdom, for your blessing, nothing is impossible!"
"My son, you shall travel East. There, deep within the jungles of the Gargadian jungles, you will find the vicious and savage saber-toothed Bear. WIth just your hands, bring me its heart. Do this, and you shall have my blessing."
The son packs his things and begins his tough journey.
"And me father?" asks the last son. "What is my task? What dangerous quest will you have me do?"
The father just looks at him.
"My boy," he says. "Get me a Coke. I never liked those cunts."
A farmer is being interviewed about his cows
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine
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