- John. F. Kennedy
Thứ Tư, 1 tháng 3, 2017
A man goes into a job interview
A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well. The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!
1 dollar for dirty joke
I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.
Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?
Me: “hingono”
Homeless man: “So hingono, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have”
Me: “two?”
Homeless man: “Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?”
Me: “two?”
Homeless man: “Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?”
Me: “two?”
Homeless man: “Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?"
Me: “I don’t know? A lot?”
Homeless man: “Well hingono, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy.”
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of coma...
...for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
I was walking my dog yesterday..
A man stopped to pat her. I told him "listen, my dog knows how to whistle! " after a minute, the guy said to me, "I can't hear anything", "yes that's because humans can't hear a dog whistle".
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