50 Bucks is 50 bucks!

Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, And every year Ken would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Edna always replied, 'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, And fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, 'Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Edna replied "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Ken and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word... When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed! Ken replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, But you know, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"

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Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!

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A German, a Hungarian and an Italian are captured by the Soviets on the Eastern Front...

The three men were held together in a tiny prison cell to await their fate. On the first day the guard came in and called to the German, "Come with me German, let's see what you know."

An hour later the German came back all bruised up. "They tortured me into telling them what I knew about the attack! I tried my best to not talk but they started knocking out my teeth!"

The guard came back in and called for the Hungarian. "Come you, let's see what you know."

The Hungarian didn't come back for four hours and when he returned he had been beaten to a pulp. He told them, "I tried to hold out but they started breaking my ribs and I couldn't hold out any longer."

"Alright, now you," the guard called to the Italian.

The Italian didn't return for three days and he was barely alive when he got back. "Why didn't you just talk?" asked the German and the Hungarian.

"I tried to, I wanted to talk right away but they tied my hands!"

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A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to get back to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it, the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading, "WHERE AM I?", and hold it up for the building's occupants to see.

People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.

Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft support building, they gave me a technically correct but entirely useless answer."

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I know every single digit of pi!

I just don't have them in the right order.

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Raped, beaten, exploited: the 21st-century slavery propping up Sicilian farming

Raped, beaten, exploited: the 21st-century slavery propping up Sicilian farming
Thousands of female Romanian farm workers are suffering horrendous abuse.

March 12, 2017 at 11:55PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2mfP2X6

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A man was riding on his Harley...

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over any time I want."

God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

And then God said, "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"

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