The man cried fruitlessly.
Thứ Tư, 5 tháng 4, 2017
A boy sees his dad smoking [NSFW]
So the boy asks if he can smoke, to which the dad replied: "I don't know son, does your dick touch your asshole?" The boy replied, "no".
Later he sees him drinking a beer and asks if he can have one. "I don't know son, does your dick touch your asshole?" Again, no.
That night the boy is making cookies with his mother and the dad walks in. "Boy those cookies look great, can I have one"
Seeing his chance the boy asks his dad if his dick touches his asshole.
When the dad tells him that it does indeed, the boy replies: "That's great dad, cause you can go fuck yourself these are my cookies"
Drinking problem
A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously intoxicated man stumbles in.
"Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man yells as he approaches.
Bartender pours all the drinks, the the whole bar cheers, they all drink. Bartender hands the bill to the man, and he just shrugs and says, "Oh I didn't bring my wallet with me tonight, sorry." The bartender proceeds to beat the living daylights out of the man and throws him out.
Next night, bartender is again behind his bar when the same well dressed but intoxicated man stumbles in.
"Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man happily announces as he approaches. Bartender thinks: "This guy cant be that stupid, he probably came to pay. Now I feel bad for beating him so hard previous night." He pours all the drinks, the the whole bar cheers, they all drink. Bartender hands the bill to the man, and he again shrugs and says, "Oh I didn't bring my wallet with me again, sorry." The bartender proceeds to beat the man even harder and kicks him out.
Third night in the row, bartender just cant believe his eyes when he sees the man return.
"Bartender! A drink for everyone, and a drink for me!" The man calls out as he approaches.
Bartender is fuming and grins sardonically: "What, no drink for ME tonight?"
The drunk looks at him and says: "Nah man, you get way too violent when you drink."
Dam Busters | Hakai Magazine
Dam Busters | Hakai Magazine
A nascent environmental movement is liberating rivers and freeing fish.
April 4, 2017 at 11:00PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2oxfkcl
Jesus writes a letter to the three wise men years later, and thanks them for the gifts they gave him.
"Hello Wise Men, Thanks for the Frankincense, first wise man, I will make great use of it, perhaps not now, but far later in life. As for you, second wise man, I am very pleased with the Myrrh, it smells lovely and I have been scenting my house with it. However, third wise man, I am travel weary and cannot remember the gift that you sent. I may correspond in the future with you further."
Days later in the wise men's house, another letter arrives.
EDIT: Thanks for the gold
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