I don't like computer science jokes..

Not one bit

Read More

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican."

It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

Read More

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed…

He begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

She whispers in his ear, "That’s me before the surgery."

Read More

Sometimes, at the end of a long day, I like to lie in my bed, look up at the stars, and think…

"Where the fuck did my roof go?"

Read More

My 7 y/o niece just dad joked me.

Her: "Do you know any jokes?"

Me: "No."

Her: "I'll teach you one."

 "Knock! Knock!" 

Me: "Who's there?"

Her: "Ash."

 "Now ask, Ash: who?" 

Me: "Ash: who?"

Her: "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."

Me: rekt

Read More

My son asked me what a dilemma was?

"Imagine you're naked and in a big bed" I explained, "A beautiful woman on one side and a gay man on the other...

Who you going to turn your back on?"

Read More

An officer was fired for smoking cannabis and masturbating on the job.

No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.

Read More