But I mainly dated black girls, so it was never really an issue.
Thứ Tư, 7 tháng 6, 2017
President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road
President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.
The driver replies, "I'm president Donald Trump's driver, and I just killed the pig."
My history teacher told me a joke about WW2 today...
If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction.
If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they’re German.
If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British.
If they surrender, they’re Italian.
If there is a mass wave of infantry and tanks, they’re Russian.
If there is a bayonet and sword charge, they’re Japanese.
If everything is quiet for a minute or two, and suddenly you are in the middle of a massive artillery barrage and air strikes, they are American.
A hippie wants to have sex with a nun
So he figures, "What the hell, might as well try" and approaches the nun and asks to have sex.
"No thank you, I must save myself for God" the nun politely replies. At the next stop, she gets off the bus, and goes about her day.
The hippie, now in a slump, is walking off the bus when the bus driver taps him on the shoulder. "Hey, I saw what happened, and I think I can help."
Excitedly the hippie replies "Please, I really want to have sex with a nun!"
The driver leans in, "Ok buddy. Listen closely. Every Sunday night at 10:00, I drop that nun off at the cemetery where she prays to God for hours. If you disguise yourself as God, I guarantee you can convince her to have sex with you."
At this point the hippie is thinking, 'Right on, she's mine for the taking' and his morale has skyrocketed. He hands the driver a generous tip, and uses the rest of his money to buy a disguise.
Sunday night comes, and the hippie is decked out in a sparkling white robe, long grey wig and fake beard; and sure enough at 10:00, the nun arrives as promised.
Cautiously approaching her, the hippie reveals himself and says "Alas, it is I, God. I have come to answer your prayers, but first you must have sex with me!"
The nun, struck by awe, looks at the hippie and says "Yes my lord! But can we do anal so I can remain pure for you?"
'Home run' thinks the hippie. "Of course my child" he answers.
Soon enough, the hippie has finally had completed his quest of having sex with the nun, so he rips off his disguise and yells "AH-HA! ITS ME! THE HIPPIE!"
At that moment, the nun rips off her disguise and says "AH-HA! ITS ME! THE BUS DRIVER!"
This Is The Smoothest Water Slide Move You'll Ever See
This Is The Smoothest Water Slide Move You'll Ever See
How does this water magician do what he does? We have no idea, but it's pretty incredible.
June 6, 2017 at 08:33PM
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