"It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yoghurt."
Thứ Ba, 20 tháng 6, 2017
Four professionals are interviewing for a math-intensive position in a company
The shortlist of applicants includes a mathematician, a physicist, an engineer, and an accountant.
To begin each interview, the representative from HR poses a simple math problem to warm up the candidates. What is 45+18?
The mathematician immediately responds "63".
The physicist responds "63, plus or minus 5%".
The engineer thinks for a moment and responds "63, but for safety, let's call it 70".
The accountant shuts the door, checks over his shoulder, leans in close to the desk, and whispers "how much do you want it to be?"
A son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?"
So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."
Thứ Hai, 19 tháng 6, 2017
First Day of School
Seven year-old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.
"What's your name?" Asked the teacher.
"Mohammad", he replied.
"You're in America now", replied the teacher, "so from now on you will be known as 'Mike'".
Mohammad returned home after school.
"How was your day, Mohammad?" Asked his mother.
"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in America and now my name is Mike"
"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father who beat the shit out of him again.
The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.
"What happened to you, Mike?", she asked.
"Well, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by two fucking Muslims."
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