Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Tư, 19 tháng 7, 2017

I'm not passive aggressive

Unlike some people...

A man is cleaning out his house and finds a pile of old New York Post papers.

He decides he doesn't have any use for them, and goes to the local recycling center to dispose of them. He sees the first recycling bin, marked "Glass". The man says, "No, this won't do. I need a different bin." He sees the second recycling bin, marked "Plastic". The man says, "No, this won't do. I need a different bin." He sees the third recycling bin, marked "Paper". The man says, "No, this won't do. I need a different bin." He sees the fourth recycling bin. marked "r/Jokes". The man says, "Oh, finally. Somewhere I can recycle all my old Po...

My daughter has got to the age where she ask embarrassing questions about sex

Such as today when she asked "Is that the best you can do?"...

...And That's When I Lost It.

I rear-ended a midget the other day with my car. I didn't know he was a midget when I ran into him. I got out to apologize, expecting a normal size driver, and when I saw the midget climb out of his car and start walking back toward me with his grumpy face, I just about lost it. I can't help it, I laugh when I'm nervous, and he just looked so funny marching back toward me.   So anyways, I'm doing everything I can to avoid cracking up because I know it's only going to make it worse if I start laughing at him after I've already dented his car....

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through a Jimmy Fallon sketch without laughing....

A Chinese doctor opens his own clinic

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside : 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene." Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20." The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer:...

Typical White Man

An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy from a bar and brings him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. At sundown third day, you die. What first wish?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the...