Funny Story

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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Hai, 31 tháng 7, 2017

Soap

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells "Holy Mary, Mother of God, HAND LOTION TOO!"

Why do Canadians do it doggy style?

So they both can watch the hockey game.

What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

[NSFW] My favorite NSFW joke from my high school.

Three brothers owned a prized horse. One day when the brothers were checking in, they found the horse was dead. So they prayed the whole morning asking god to bring back the horse. Suddenly, a fairy appeared.

Fairy: I can bring back the horse but on one condition, at least one of you have to satisfy me with a really good fucking.

The 2nd brother(2nd by age) went first. He inserted his weiner and started fucking her. She was far from being satisfied instead she was bored.

Then came the oldest brother, a known womaniser. He was better than his younger brother, but still too far from satisfying her.

Finally, it was the turn of the youngest brother. He pulled out his dick and started fucking her. To everyone's surprise the fairy started moaning with joy within some seconds into action as that was the best sex she ever had. After a hour he was still going on but the fairy started moaning roughly and was so exhausted that she had to be separated by the other brothers to save her from any damage.

The fairy was more than satisfied.

Then impressed by his brother, the eldest one said ," Damn, man. What... How did you even.......". The youngest brother interrupted and replied ,"What did you think killed the horse?"

Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 7, 2017

Why don't black people go on cruise ships?

Because they're not falling for that one again.

My girlfriend asked me with how many girls I've slept with

"Only with you babe..." I replied

"Awww, really?"

"...Yeah, with the others I stayed awake."

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter…

I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me.

I thought to myself, "I really need a new fucking boat."