It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Thứ Hai, 31 tháng 7, 2017
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologised and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied: "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
Told by my friend years ago in high school [long] [nsfw]
Okay so let me start out by saying when telling this joke, you insert the name of the person you are telling it too. For this joke I will use the name John Johnson as it is the most generic name I can think of. Now for the joke.
Three men were standing in a bar, making small talk. The first guy says "guys my hands are so tiny, I must have the smallest hands in the world!"
The second guy, not wanting to be outdone, says "Well my feet are minuscule! I know I have the smallest feet in the world!"
The third guy, a little hesitant, says "guys... I think I have the smallest penis in the world."
They decide to make the trip together to the World Record Measuring studio.
The first guy goes in, and comes out with a certificate stating he has the smallest hands in the world. "See! I told you I had the smallest hands in the world!"
The second guy goes in, and he also comes out with a certificate. " I knew it! My feet are the smallest in the world!"
The third guy goes in, but does not come out with a certificate. Instead he yells "WHO THE FUCK IS JOHN JOHNSON?!"
Why did I get divorced ?
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
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