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Thứ Hai, 21 tháng 8, 2017

Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword"

He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.

A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean, Chinese, Japanese — you guys are all the same."

Looking not to argue, they part ways.

Later in the night, the Korean man walks up to the Jewish man, and punches him in the face as well.

"Okay, okay, I get it — that's fair. I punched you, you punched me, but what was that for?"

"That was for the titanic," says the Korean man.

"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."

"Yeah — Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceberg. You're all the same."

I wish I could be ugly for one day.

Being ugly every day sucks.

Father: Hey son what are you drinking?

Son: Soy-milk

Father: Hola milk, soy tu padre

The last four letters in “queue” are not silent

They’re just waiting their turn.

I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, “I want to sue the airline.”

“You don’t have much of a case,” he replied.