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Thứ Hai, 18 tháng 12, 2017

The Insane True Story Of How 'Titanic' Got Made


The Insane True Story Of How 'Titanic' Got Made
James Cameron's epic "$190 million chick flick" spawned "Leomania" and presented us with a new kind of wish fulfillment.

December 18, 2017 at 01:49AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2BnoonB

It's strange to see Christians advocating abstinence only sex education...

According to their own religion, even abstinence isn't 100% effective.

A dwarf walked into a bar.

The bar for this joke is set pretty low.

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so...

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.”

I can tell how uncomfortable a person is...

...just by hugging them for 18 minutes.

Damn girl are you a smoke alarm?

Because you're really fucking loud and annoying.

Chủ Nhật, 17 tháng 12, 2017

Damn girl are you a parked car?

Because I would have to be drunk as fuck to hit that