A Jewish Father was very upset by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it.

"Rabbi, I brought my son up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah, and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then, he tells me last week that he's decided to be Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

The Rabbi rubs his beard and says: "Funny you should come to me. I too brought up my son as a boy of faith, sent him to University, and it cost me a fortune for his education. Then after he's done, he comes to me and says that he wants to be Christian."

"What did you do?" the man asked the Rabbi.

"I turned to God for the answer," replied the Rabbi.

"Well, what did he say?" asked the man.

He said, "Funny you should come to me....."

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Never iron a four leaf clover.

You don't want to press your luck.

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A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind.

Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.

The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

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The Fall of Travis Kalanick Was a Lot Weirder and Darker Than You Thought

The Fall of Travis Kalanick Was a Lot Weirder and Darker Than You Thought
Silicon Valley CEOs are supposed to be sacrosanct. So how did it all go wrong at Uber?

January 18, 2018 at 10:59PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2mJL8ao

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I heard its easy to convince women not to eat tide pods..

but it's a lot harder to deter gents.

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So a boy asks his father what's an alcoholic

The father says, "see those 4 trees over there? An alcoholic would see 8 trees" The boy replies, "but dad, I only see two trees!"

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A man is showing off his new apartment...

After a night at the bar, he brings his friends up, where he has large brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with the gong and mallet?" One of his friends asked.

"It's not a gong, it's a talking clock," the man replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?"

"Yup."

"How's it work?" The friend asked

"Watch," said the man. He picked up the mallet and banged the gong as hard as he could, stepping back as the pound reverberated around the room.

The friends looked at the man, rather confused.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall started screaming "You bastard! It's 3 in the morning!"

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