She was eaten by a massive crab
Thứ Tư, 7 tháng 3, 2018
Four men are in the hospital waiting room!
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”
Why Moses was the one who received the Ten Commandments
God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'
The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
'Can you give us an example?'
'Thou shall not kill.'
'Not kill? We're not interested..'
Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'
'Not steal? We're not interested.'
Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'
Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'
'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
'They're free.'
'We'll take 10.'
A little boy with a dead frog on a leash goes into a brothel
At the reception he asks the madam:
"I'd like to have sex with a woman who has a sexually transmitted disease."
"While we do have a girl with an STD you are still a minor."
"I can pay extra."
After thinking about it the madam decides to let him have sex with her girl on one condition:
"Well, okay, you can go up to Nancy's room but first tell me what's up with that dead frog on a leash thing?"
"When I get home tonight my babysitter will come and do stuff to me. Afterwards when my dad brings her home he will getting some too. When he goes to bed with my mother they'll have sex like every night. In the morning my mother will have sex with the mailman like every morning. And that's the asshole who ran over my frog."
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