The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."
Thứ Tư, 21 tháng 3, 2018
Reasons to Believe
Reasons to Believe
How seriously should you take those recent reports of UFOs? Ask the Pentagon. Or read this primer for the SETI-curious.
March 20, 2018 at 09:57PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2DFg7Li
A priest enters a fish market.
When he asks what the man behind the counter recommends, the man brings out a large fish. "My goodness!" The priest exclaims. "That fish is huge!" "Yeah." The man replies. "It's a big son of a bitch." The priest says "Sir. Please mind your language." Thinking quickly, the man says "Oh. No. The name of the fish is a Son of a Bitch." Relieved, the priest tells him. "Well in that case, I'll take the son of a bitch with me."
Later on, the priest shows the fish to the bishop at the church. "My word." The bishop says. "That's quite a fish." The priest tells him. "I know. Maybe we can cook the son of a bitch later." The bishop says "I've worked with you for years and I've never heard you use such language." The priest explains "Oh. The name of the fish is a Son of a bitch. So it's quite fine." "Is that so?" The bishop says. "Well the pope is visiting. We can have the son of a bitch for dinner.
Later at dinner, the priest, the bishop and the pope are eating the fish. The priest says. "This son of a bitch is delicious." Then the bishop says "I've never had a son of a bitch this good." The pope puts down his fork and says "You know, you motherfuckers are alright.
Thứ Ba, 20 tháng 3, 2018
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes.
He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that,I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample."
"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk.
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