Trump Attacks Jerry Brown, Jeff Bezos, Then Hits The Links
President Trump blasted California Gov. Jerry Brown for using his pardon powers as part of a series of pre-Easter twitter attacks.
April 1, 2018 at 01:01AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2uxBT...
Chủ Nhật, 1 tháng 4, 2018
Two blind pilots enter a plane..
They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.
The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.
In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die"...
A poor man meets a rich man around Christmas
The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The poor man nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies, "A pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The poor man astutely...
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee that...
A Jewish kid gets kicked out of every school...
A Jewish kid gets kicked out of every school he attends.
His parents try putting him in Jewish schools. Expelled.
His parents try putting him in public school. Expelled.
His parents try putting him in Montessori schools. Expelled.
His parents try putting him in Military schools. Expelled.
Finally, they decide to try a Catholic school. Lo and behold, not only does the kid not get expelled, but he winds up on the honor roll. Teachers say nothing but good things about him, and his marks have never been higher.
His parents ask, "we tried twenty different...
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