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Thứ Năm, 12 tháng 4, 2018

Did you know that if you play Nickelback backwards you can hear the devil?

But what's even worse is that if you play it forwards you can hear Nickelback

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe...

Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon

Ancient chinese torture

A man goes on a date with a hot chinese chick and crashes at her house, when her dad, Ling Bao, says: "You can stay here for the night. Just one condition: don't fuck my virgin daughter or I will give you the 3 worst forms of chinese torture".

The man agrees, but he ends up fucking her anyway.

he wakes up to a large rock on his chest with a post it note on it saying "chinese torture 1: large rock on chest."

The man laughs and throws the rock out the window, when he hears a rope slipping and sees a sign at the other end of the room saying "chinese torture 2: left testicle tied to rock"

The man sees the rope is about to become taught, and decides a few broken bones is better than castration. So he jumps out the window.

As he's falling, he sees a sign on the ground:

"chinese torture 3: right testicle tied to bedpost"

The chief of police knocks on a woman's door

"Ma'am", he says, removing his hat:

"we have bad and good news"

"bad news first" the woman replies.

"I'm sorry, but a serial killer attacked your husband, cut his skin off and threw his corpse in the harbor"

The woman begins crying. "so what's the good news?"

"When we pulled him up he had 20 four-pound lobsters crawling on him. Want one?"

"No way. that's disgusting!" the woman sobbed

"Well, if you change your mind, we're pulling him up again tomorrow"

Never go out with a tennis player

Love means nothing to them.

This week in DC, Mark Zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable.

He’s explaining Facebook to old people.

How do all black jokes begin?

With a look over your shoulder.