A pregnant woman is hit by a private car....!

She is sent into a coma for 2 years. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?!" The doctor replies, "Calm down, Calm down, your babies are fine. You had twins! a girl and a boy. We gave them to your brother to watch while you were in the hospital." She says,"My brother? That guy is a moron! Why would you do that?" "I am sorry ma'am, we had no choice. There was nobody else. He even took the liberty of naming them." "What??", she says. "What did he name my daughter?" "He named her 'Denise' " says the...

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The Ending Of Celtics/Bucks Game 1 Was Nuts

The Ending Of Celtics/Bucks Game 1 Was Nuts March Madness is over, but the basketball action is just heating up. April 16, 2018 at 03:48AM via Digg https://ift.tt/2JLKp...

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A man decides to go a whore house..

But to his surprise a nun open a door. He tries to apologise, trying to come up with an excuse. The nun, seeing right through him says : 'This is the right place. If you want to get fucked by the Sisters of Eternal Bliss, you have come to the right place'. The man walk in, a bit surprised and also a bit skeptical . As the nun leads him through an extravagant corridor, she goes on to explain the working of the establishment. She shows him a door and explains that each door leads to a room and another. 'Every room has a nun who will pleasure you...

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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum,...

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Having gay parents must be horrible

You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"...

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A quantum particle walks into two bars.

In one, he has a few drinks, becomes the life of the party, gets lucky and has a splendid time. In the other he drinks too much, picks a fight with the wrong company and ends up beaten to half of his life. The next day, he happens to meet an old buddy. After some very small talk, his friend asks " hey, so what did you do last night?" the particle, bruised and beaten shouts "DAMN IT MAN did you have to ask!!"...

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A farmer is in court, suing the trucking company whose truck injured him in an accident

He is on the stand, and the company's lawyer is questioning him, trying to disprove the merit of his claim. "Mister Brown," the lawyer says, "did you not tell the responding officer, after the crash, that you were -and I quote- fine?" "Well," says the farmer, "you see, I was driving my mule to town..." "Sir, please answer the question. Did you or did you not say you were fine?" "Well now, you have to understand, I was driving my mule..." "Sir! Stop avoiding the question. Remember, you are under oath! Did you not tell the officer you were fine?"...

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