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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Hai, 14 tháng 5, 2018

Been in Jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice...

I really need to stop playing monopoly with my uncle.

An American spy goes to russia...

In Soviet Russia, an American spy tries to blend in...

George Keats had trained 20 years for this moment. He had mastered the Russian language in its native accent. He learned all of Russia's customs and social graces. He memorized Moscow streetmaps and knew every back-alley there was. He swore that he could even think like a Russian.

The big day finally came, and he was parachuted to the outskirts of Moscow at night. He emerged by daybreak, and hopped onto a bus going to the city center.

"Comrade. How much for a ticket to Red square?", he asked the conductor in authentic Russian.

"5 Rubles, Comrade American", came the reply.

Keats was stunned. Perhaps the conductor was just being a smart-ass. He hopped off the bus and asked a passerby for directions to the closest bar.

"It's just around the block, Comrade American."

Keats' doubts grew immensely. Not knowing what to do, he went inside the bar and ordered a glass of Vodka.

"Want some Borscht to go with it, Comrade American?", the bartender asked.

Keats threw a fit. "What's the matter with you people? I dress just like you, I speak just like you, I even THINK just like you! Why does everyone keep calling me American?"

"Well Comrade, it's because you're black."

My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats.

I guess I should really get off Tumblr

The “normal science” of Stephen Hawking’s final paper


The “normal science” of Stephen Hawking’s final paper
The acclaimed astrophysicist's final contribution to his field might not be a breakthrough, but then again, it's not supposed to be.

May 14, 2018 at 06:51PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2IEip3S

Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?"

Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."

I've started using Viagra to treat my sunburn.

It doesn't do anything for the burns, but it does a good job of keeping the sheets of my legs.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car